Joke of the Week! "The Mothers Day Card"

Better run cause here I come!

Two girls bought their mother flowers for mothers day.
They told their mother that they used their own money to buy the flowers.
The younger of the two stated "We bought you these because you always ask for some peace so you can rest."
When their mother opened the card it simply stated "Rest in Peace"

Bird Brain

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:American_Kestrel_on_the_hunt.jpg

I decided to start a new weekly post called "Bird Brain". No, I am not calling you a bird brain.
This week's bird is one that you probably don't hear about very often. It is called the American Kestrel. We had a family of them living around our house.
I keep a small bird journal with me in my pocket. Here's the entry about the kestrel.
March 28, 2011
The American Kestrel is 9" Long. Small colorful falcon, long tail, thin sickle-shaped wings. Male: Blue-gray wings; redish brown tail with broad black tip; a line of translucent spots is visible along trailing edge of wing.
Female: Wings, black and tail reddish-brown; thin dark brown harson tail. Spots along trailing edge of wings less conspicuas.
Perched: Two black side burns on each side of face. Male has blue gray wings, female has lightly barred brown wings.
Immature: Almost the same as adult.


Hope you enjoy Bird Brain!

Joke of the Week! "The Congress Man and the Farmer"

Hey Peoples, I AM BACK!!!!! Did you miss me? I didn't think you would!!!!

Here is this weeks joke!
A rancher was watching his herd out in the fields of Montana, when suddenly a black Sudan pulled up and a well dress man in a suit, tie, really nice sun glasses and custom made leather shoes stepped out .
The man said to the farmer, "If I can tell you how many cows you have in your herd, will you give me one of your calves?"
"Alright." the farmer replied after thinking about it for a moment, "Why not!"
So the man pulled out his Blackberry Smart phone and found his UTM coordinates on his GPS app. Then he got a satellite photo which was sent to a master computer in Berlin, Germany, which wrote a 126 page report, which got sent to his home office and to his laptop in the trunk of his car. He sent it to his calculator app and had it counted the cows in the photo. Then he printed it on his ink jet printer, also in his trunk. After that he told the rancher: "You have 2,451 cows in this field."
"Wow!" the rancher replied, "Have your pick."
So the man picked a scrawny looking cow and and stuffed it in his trunk. As he was about to leave, the rancher said to him, "If I can tell you what your job is, will you give me back my cow?"
"Sure!" the man replied.
"You are a member of Congress."
"Yea! How did you know?"
"Because you are arrogant! You spend way to much money on things that you don't need! You ask the dumbest questions! You find the hardest way to do the simplest things! You tell me things I already know and you know nothing about animals because this is a herd of sheep, not cows! NOW GIVE ME BACK MY DOG!

Go Fish!!!!!

This past Friday and Saturday, a few of us from my boy scout troop went on a "Fishing Campout". It was a blast! A friend of our assistant scoutmaster let us campout on his property. It was a really nice place to camp, right near the water. We had to get up at four in the morning on Saturday so we could start fishing right away. Some people started fishing a 2:00 am. That's what I call extreme!!!!!!
We cought about 30 fish and kept 19.
We knew it was going to rain on Saturday, and we did get some rain, but we also got an inch of snow!!!!! We had a lot of fun. And thanks to Mr. B. for taking these great pictures!


Our Campsite




My Friend David and Me




Us Fishing



David



My Dad and Me Fishing From Shore




My Dad Helping David With His Fishing Rod



David, Paul, Me and Nate Standing By The Fire

Our Campsite With Snow (The Snow Was Free Of Charge And Unwanted)

Us Fishing Some More



Me With One Of My Fish



David and Me In Our Canoe

Joke of the Week! "Sink or Swim"

Your back? You must like my jokes! Good thing someone does!

A fish and game warden goes up to a man fishing and suspects that the man does not have a fishing license. So he says to the fisherman: "Do you have your license?"
"Nope!" the man replied watching his fishing rod.
"Then how come you're fishing?"
"I 'm not fishing!"
"Than what do you call this?"
"Drowning worms!"

Christ the Lord is risen today, Alleluia!

Sons of man and angles say: Alleluia!

Raise your joys and triumphs high, Alleluia!

Sing, ye heavens and earth reply: Alleluia.

Lives again our glorious King, Alleluia!

Where, o death, is now your sting? Alleluia!

Dying once He all doth save, Alleluia!

Where thy victory, o grave? Alleluia!

Love's redeeming work is done, Alleluia!

Fought the fight, the battle won, Alleluia!
Death in vain forbids Him rise, Alleluia!
Christ has opened Paradise, Alleluia!

Soar we now where Christ has led, Alleluia!
Following our exalted Head, Alleluia!
Made like Him, like Him we rise, Alleluia!
Ours the cross, the grave, the skyes, Alleluia!

Happy Easter

Joke of the Week! "Future Botanist"

Sorry it was late. But you can stop crying now!

A Sunday school teacher was talking to her class about plants and how some plants go with different holidays.
"The pumpkin goes with Thanksgiving, the Christmas tree goes with Christmas, and can someone tell me what plant goes with Easter?"
One six year old raised his hand and said "Egg plant".

"Gods of the Copy Book Headings" by Rudyard Kipling

Here is another one of my favorite pomes.

As I pass through my incarnations in every age and race,
I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
That a tribe had been wiped off its ice field, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

When the Cambrian measures were forming, they promised perpetual peace.
They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
But when we disarmed they sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "Stick to the Devil you know."

On the first Feminine Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbor and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "The Wages of Sin is Death."

In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
by robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
but, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
and the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "If you don't work you die."

Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
there are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wobbling back to the Fire;

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

Joke of the Week! "The Weather Board"

Sorry this one is late. I know you're sad.
But don't be sad any more because Matt's Joke of the Week is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

A man was driving through a town when he saw a sign on the side of the road with a rope hanging from it.
The sign was entitled: The Weather Board.
It stated this: rope wet - raining, rope easy to see - sunny, rope swinging - windy, rope hard to see - foggy, rope white - snowing, rope missing - thief in town





Hope you like it.
If you do, please leave a comment, because I love comments!

A day in the life of............ME!

I got this idea from a boy that does a blog called "Colin for the Clan". You should check it out, it's a really cool blog!
Anyway, he gave me this idea to tell you about my everyday life!
I get up at about 7:00 and do my morning chores, which include letting out the ducks and chickens. Then sometimes I go for a walk so I can have some quiet time with God before I start off my day.
At about 8:00 I come in and eat breakfast, make my bed, put away things that might be out in my room.
At about 8:30 my mom and I do a devotion and then I start my school. First my mom and I do reading. Then I do grammar, math, science and Latin. That keeps me busy until about 12:00. Then we have lunch (the best part of the day).
After that, I have some scout stuff that I need to do, which takes me about 1 hour. Then I have afternoon chores like taking out the trash, putting wood on the porch, collecting eggs. Then I have free time. Mostly I run around and play army or something or I do a wood working project. If it's raining I play Lego's or play a game with Holly (my sister) or play the piano!
At 7:00 the ducks and chickens are ready to go in.
Then at about 7:30 we have a family movie that we watch.
At about 8:30 I go up to bed and read or I work on a book I am writing.
At about 9:30 I turn out my light and listen to some music on my MP3 player, and at about 10:30 I fall asleep.

I am glad God gave me the life I have. I learn a lot about responsibility every day!
Leave a comment about your day!