Joke of the Week! "Sticker Shock"

If you were wondering if I come up with all the jokes I put on here, I don't! Most of them I get out of "Country" magazine, like this one!
This week's joke is a good one I think!

An unethical car dealer had taken advantage  of several people in the community. He called a local rancher about coming over to buy a bull. When he arrived, the rancher handed him the bill:

• Basic bull: $499.99
• Extra stomachs: $79.99
• 2-ton exterior: $124.99
• Heavy-duty straw chomper: $189.99
• High-output drain system: $149.99
• Automatic flyswatter: $88.99
• Genuine bullhide upholstery: $179.99
• Deluxe dual horns: 59.99
• Automatic fertilizer attachment: $339.99
• 4x4 traction drive assembly: $884.99
• Pre-delivery wash and detailing: $69.99
• Destination charge: $395.99
• Tax, license and title: $63.99

The bill came to $3,128.87
This gave the dealer a new appreciation for the term "sticker shock"

Hope you like it!

So, Just What Can Fit In An Altoids Can?

Altoids Can

One thing that I like to do is make Survival Kits to take with me on hikes, bike rides, campouts and any other adventure that I might have. One thing that I found works good to use for a survival kit is Altoids cans. They're small, light weight, and, believe or not, they can hold a lot of things!

Here is the list of things that I put in my Altoids can survival kit!

• A book of matches
• A small pocket Bible
• A pencil
• Two chicken bullion cubes
• Fishing line, hooks and sinkers
• A roll of Cap Gun caps
• Three Band-Aids
• A paper clip
• A sugar packet
• A piece of paper
• Four saftey pins
• A rubber band
• A cardboard fire starter
• A razer blade
• 10 dollars
• Wire
• Twine
• A 12"x14" sheet of tin foil
• and three 6" peices of Duck Tape

My survival kit taken apart

That is a lot of stuff to put in an Altoids Can, but it all fits!



My survival kit put back together

 It can be a lot of fun putting together a survival kit!
Have any ideas? I would love to hear them!
Leave a comment! I Love Comments!

Joke of the Week! "Water and Fire"

Oh Boy! It's Matt's JOKE!
Sometime, someone will stuff a sock in my mouth so I can't tell any more jokes!

A forgetful couple goes on a vacation to Alaska. As they are boarding their plane the wife says to her husband "I forgot to turn off the gas before we left! The house will burn down!"
"No it won't!" the husband reassured "Because I left the bathtub running!"


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Maple Dream

Every year our church has a spaghetti dinner with a men's dessert contest! This year I decided to enter a dessert called "Maple Dream" (photos below)

Anyway, to make a very long story short, I entered my dessert, which has 3 cups of pure New Hampshire maple syrup in it, and ended up winning Best Tasting.

So that is the end of my short, long story! Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go brush my teeth!

Sights, Sounds, Smells and Songs of SPRING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here are some pictures that I took of the area around our house now that all the snow is almost gone!
Of course, you can only get the sights of spring on a camra. You will just need to use your imagination for the rest!

Joke of the Week! "Huge and the Flower Shop"

Ha, Ha, Ha! Why am I laughing? I haven't even told the joke yet!

A group of humble friars started a flower shop. Business went well for them right from the start!
But their competition was not happy with it. They were selling more flowers than he had. So he went to talk to the friars to ask them to close their shop. It didn't work! He begged them. That didn't work either. He black mailed them. Still they wouldn't leave! He sued them and he lost the case.
He did everything that he could think of. Then he got an idea! He asked Hugh to go and smash up their shop!
Hugh was the biggest, meanest, roughest, toughest bad boy around.
Hugh utterly destroyed the shop and frightened the friars so much that they ran off and have never been seen again.
So it has been said to this day; 'Only Hugh can prevent florest friars'.

Guess who's lookin' up to you, Billboard!

"What did you just say?" you might be thinking, "I'm not a Billboard!"
If that's what your thinking, think again. So, what is a billboard?
I'm sure you can think of someone you look up to! I know that I can!
That person that you look up to is a "Billboard" so to speak.
But what I think we fail to see as Christians is that people are looking up to us, whether we know it or not! So we are "Billboards" to the people who look up to us.
That puts a new look on things, doesn't it? You think that there is no one looking up to you? Once again, Think twice! There is ALWAYS  someone looking up to you!

Recently I played at a piano recital. One of my favorite things to do at the piano is come up with songs. So I played a song that I had written. Big deal! I messed up a couple of times, but I didn't think much more about it. Yesterday my mom ran into the mother of one of the little girls that takes piano lessons from the same teacher I do. She was at the recital, also. This girl's mother told my mom that her daughter had been inspired by my song to go home and write a song of her own. I don't even know this girl.
It's funny how things like that work. I wasn't even going to play that song because I couldn't play it very well.  But if I hadn't played it, I wouldn't have seen God at work in my life!

Also, there is always Someone looking down on us too. That Someone is God! When you do something you should ask yourself  'Is this something I would want the people that look up to me to do?' and even better 'Is this something God would want me to do?'

Who do we look up to. Well, we should look up to God more than anyone else. But do we? Not always! Sometimes we focus so much on the Billboards that we miss the little road sign, called God's Word, which is telling us which way to go! Our focus needs to be on God more than man!

Have you ever looked at a full moon? It is amazing how it lights up the night with the light from the sun.
As Christians, we should act like the moon. When people look at us they should see God's reflection in our lives. But how often do they? Just something to think about.

Joke of the Week! "The Wonderful Thing About Feet"

What More Can I Say?

A boy asked his dad if he could use the family car!
His dad replied "Try walking some where! Why do you think God gave you two feet if you aren't going to walk anywhere?"
"That's easy," the boy replied "one for the gas and one for the break!"

Hope You Like It

Joke of the Week! "B's, Bible and Hair?"

I'm Back!
Ya know, It takes six senses to laugh at my jokes!
A sense of touch, taste, sight, hearing, smell and humor!

Here is this week's joke!
A sixteen year old wanted to get his drivers licence. When he asked his dad, his dad replied "If you study the Bible, bring your grades up to a "B" average and cut your hair you can get your licence!"
Six months later the father said to his son "Well son, I'm real proud of you. You've been studying the Bible, you brought your grades up to a "B" but you didn't cut your hair!"
"Well dad," the boy replied "in my Bible study I found that Moses, Samson, John the Baptist and maybe even Jesus all had long hair!"
The boy's father thought for a minute and then said "Did you notice they walked everywhere they went?"

I Hope You Like It!
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From Boy to Man: Enduring Pain

This is one of the things I've heard a lot around our home! "Tough it up, Bud!" If I stubbed my toe and got upset, you can be sure that my brother Chris, who is 8 years older than me, would tell me that! Loud and clear, too!!!!
It was annoying at the time, but after a while I learned to "Tough it up" and am learning to endure pain. I often watch my dad put wood on our wood stove. He will hold on to the log with his bare hand and put it in the fire like that! 'How can he do that?' I wondered.
I soon found out why! My dad can endure pain!
(Be sure you under stand that I am not trying to take jobs away from doctors, I know that some pain is to much to endure! I am talking about the "I stubbed my toe" kind of pain.)
After 13 years of life I found out two things that comfort me when I am in pain:
1. Pain will not last forever. I will only be in pain for so long! If I stub my toe, the pain will not last. If I brake my arm, the pain will not last! And if I end up having pain for all my life, I won't have it in heaven!
2. Jesus went through it too! He died the most painful death that a man could die! And he endured the pain! Yea, it hurt and it hurt a lot, but the Bible does not say that Jesus said "This hurts! Make it stop!" Jesus never said that! Jesus asked God in the garden to keep him from going through the pain and suffering but He also said "Your will be done!"
If it's God's will that we go through pain then let God's will be done!

I have heard a lot of boys saying "It hurts! Make it stop" about the littlest thing!
But as long as we live on earth we will always have pain! So I will say this to you and myself as I learn to endure pain: "Tough it up and be the man God made you to be!!"