Joke of the Week! Contest!!!!!!

Joke of the week contest? What is that?
I am doing a contest to see what you think are the top ten funniest jokes!

Here's how it works:
Pick 10 jokes that you think are funny. Then put them in order from funniest to least funny
To find the jokes, go to my side bar and click on the tab that says "Jokes". Each joke has a title
Then e-mail me your ballot. Click here to e-mail me
You have until next Wednesday to cast your ballot
Ask family members to vote to. The more people that vote, the better it will be!
I will post the funniest jokes next week

Back to School

I don't know about you, but after a summer off from school, it is almost refreshing to start up again.
Today is my first official day of school. I have been doing math for a few weeks, already.

Tomorrow I will start working on my Eagle Project plans and report. I am hoping to start working on the project itself in December.

Life can get pretty crazy during the school year. This is the first year of high school.

Vacation was fun, but I am glad that school has started again!

Bird Brain

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Belted_Kingfisher.jpg

A few weeks ago I saw a Belted Kingfisher with its mate flying past our camp site. It was a neat thing to watch. Even though we were near water, you don't normally see Kingfishers around like you do Sparrows or Robins.

Journal Entry #4-Page 6
Belted King Fisher- Ceryle Alcyon

ID: 13"; ONLY KINGFISHER THAT LIVES ABOVE TEXAS!!!!! Large bill; Blue-Gray head, back and wings; white collar.
Male: All White Belly
Female: Reddish-Brown Belt on Belly

Feeding: Hovers, then plunges into the water, or dives from perch. Eats fish, amphibians, reptiles and insets.

Habitat: Near water such as; rivers, lakes, streams and coastal bays.

Voice: A sharp "Tick", often in a series.


Info from "Stokes Field Guide To Birds - Eastern Region" by Donald and Lillian Stokes

Joke of the Week! "Beware of Dog?"

I am sorry I haven't had a joke in a long time.

A man walked into a country store out in the middle of nowhere. He read a sign that said "Beware of Dog." on the wall!
As he entered, he saw an old Basset Hound sound asleep in the middle of the floor.
He asked the man behind the counter, "Is that the dog I need to "Beware" of?"
"Sure is!" the man behind the counter replied.
"That dog dosen't look like it could hurt a fly!"
"It couldn't!"
"Than why do you have the sign?"
"Because before I got it, people kept tripping over him!"

Bird Brain

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:HirundoRusticaFlight-cropped.jpg

I'm very sorry that I haven't done this in a couple months.
Today I saw a Barn Swallow in my yard, so I decided to do another Bird Brain!

Journal Entry #3 Page:5
Barn Swallow - Hirundo Rustica

ID: 7"; long forked tale; upper parts Blue-Black; Buffy Breast; chin and throat Reddish-Brown.
Feed: Mostly insects; common to eat in pairs during egg-laying season; in small flocks at other times.
Habitat: Open country near barns or open out buildings, bridges or culverts.
Voice: Both gender give song of continuous twitter and occassional greeting sounds; during feeding or alarm, call "Chit-chit."




Info from "Stokes Field Guide To Birds - Eastern Region" by Donald and Lillian Stokes

Joke of the Week! "The Best Gift"

Sorry there was no joke last week. There will be no joke next week, too. :(

A convict in jail for 20 years sent his mother a birthday card. Unfortunately, the only paper he had was a post card that said "Wish you were here".

Airsoft Party

Yesterday I had my birthday party. (Yes, yesterday was my birthday, for those who were wondering)
Anyway, I had a bunch of friends over to play airsoft. (It's kinda like shooting a BB gun at someone only it shoots plastic instead of metal and it is not as powerful as a BB gun.)
Within the first five minutes of playing, three of the guys on my team had been killed, including me. Our team didn't win that one.
But the next round took longer and we also won it, thanks to a sniper rifle.
The next round we lost, but we were going up against a machine gun and a sniper rifle.
The round after that we were not able to finsh, it lasted almost a hour.
It was a fun party.

Trying out the guns

Eating lunch

Eating lunch again

Eating cake

Getting ready to go back out

My grandparents gave me a .22 rifle for my birthday.

It is really nice!

   

At the end, my mom took a picture of us 

From left to right: David, Mike, Matt, Ryan, Me, Paul, Chris, Joe and Mason

 I thank God for allowing me to live another year and for giving me such good friends.

Matt's Spicy Cheese Salsa

Yesterday I became a mad scientist in our kitchen. I made my own cheese salsa. Amazingly, it turned out pretty good. I guess Boy Scout Cooking has helped a lot.

Here is my recipe:
For a family night size:
2 1/2 - 3 1/2 cups of shredded cheese
1/2 cup of milk
1 tbsp water
1/4 cup diced tomato
1/4 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup red bell pepper
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp onion salt
1/8 tsp garlic powder

Melt the cheese in  a small sauce pan at medium/low heat.
Cut up onion, tomato and pepper.
Stir cheese and add the milk. Stir until the cheese is completely melted.
Add chili powder, onion salt and garlic and stir until mixed.
Add tomato, onion and pepper and stir.
Let sit on low heat for five mintes.
Then microwave for 30 seconds or until bubbles.
Serve on top of corn chips.
You may want to microwave it before you serve again, if it has cooled down.

Joke of the Week! "Scared to Death"

A man got a job as a taxi driver. On his first day of work he picked up a passenger and started to take him to his destination.
The passenger needed to ask the driver a question, so he leaned forward and tapped on his shoulder. As soon as he did the driver screamed and lost control of the car. After dodging a fire hydrant, running two red lights and a stop sign, almost hitting a dog and an old lady crossing the street, he came to a stop inches away from a garbage truck.
"Are you OK?" asked the passenger.
"I am just fine. You scared me when you tapped on my shoulder."
"How did that scare you?"
"Well, for the last 12 years I have been driving a hearse.

Joke of the Week! "The Big, Small Order"

Yipes! That tomato was a little too close!

A dad sent his son to pick up an order of live chickens at the train station.
On the way home he was very careful not to drop the crate full of squawking chickens. But as he got to his own street, the crate slipped out of his hands and smashed on the sidewalk.
Chickens went everywhere! Scurrying about, the boy had a hard time trying to catch them, but soon, exhausted and out of breath, rounded them all up.
When he returned home he explained to his father what had happened. "But I rounded up all 12 of them!" he said proudly.
"Well, you done good, son!" said his father. "But I only ordered 8!"



You have good aim! Really Good AIM! SPLAT!!!!!!!!!!!!