Joke of the Week! "The Best Gift"

Sorry there was no joke last week. There will be no joke next week, too. :(

A convict in jail for 20 years sent his mother a birthday card. Unfortunately, the only paper he had was a post card that said "Wish you were here".

Airsoft Party

Yesterday I had my birthday party. (Yes, yesterday was my birthday, for those who were wondering)
Anyway, I had a bunch of friends over to play airsoft. (It's kinda like shooting a BB gun at someone only it shoots plastic instead of metal and it is not as powerful as a BB gun.)
Within the first five minutes of playing, three of the guys on my team had been killed, including me. Our team didn't win that one.
But the next round took longer and we also won it, thanks to a sniper rifle.
The next round we lost, but we were going up against a machine gun and a sniper rifle.
The round after that we were not able to finsh, it lasted almost a hour.
It was a fun party.

Trying out the guns

Eating lunch

Eating lunch again

Eating cake

Getting ready to go back out

My grandparents gave me a .22 rifle for my birthday.

It is really nice!

   

At the end, my mom took a picture of us 

From left to right: David, Mike, Matt, Ryan, Me, Paul, Chris, Joe and Mason

 I thank God for allowing me to live another year and for giving me such good friends.

Matt's Spicy Cheese Salsa

Yesterday I became a mad scientist in our kitchen. I made my own cheese salsa. Amazingly, it turned out pretty good. I guess Boy Scout Cooking has helped a lot.

Here is my recipe:
For a family night size:
2 1/2 - 3 1/2 cups of shredded cheese
1/2 cup of milk
1 tbsp water
1/4 cup diced tomato
1/4 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup red bell pepper
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp onion salt
1/8 tsp garlic powder

Melt the cheese in  a small sauce pan at medium/low heat.
Cut up onion, tomato and pepper.
Stir cheese and add the milk. Stir until the cheese is completely melted.
Add chili powder, onion salt and garlic and stir until mixed.
Add tomato, onion and pepper and stir.
Let sit on low heat for five mintes.
Then microwave for 30 seconds or until bubbles.
Serve on top of corn chips.
You may want to microwave it before you serve again, if it has cooled down.

Joke of the Week! "Scared to Death"

A man got a job as a taxi driver. On his first day of work he picked up a passenger and started to take him to his destination.
The passenger needed to ask the driver a question, so he leaned forward and tapped on his shoulder. As soon as he did the driver screamed and lost control of the car. After dodging a fire hydrant, running two red lights and a stop sign, almost hitting a dog and an old lady crossing the street, he came to a stop inches away from a garbage truck.
"Are you OK?" asked the passenger.
"I am just fine. You scared me when you tapped on my shoulder."
"How did that scare you?"
"Well, for the last 12 years I have been driving a hearse.

Joke of the Week! "The Big, Small Order"

Yipes! That tomato was a little too close!

A dad sent his son to pick up an order of live chickens at the train station.
On the way home he was very careful not to drop the crate full of squawking chickens. But as he got to his own street, the crate slipped out of his hands and smashed on the sidewalk.
Chickens went everywhere! Scurrying about, the boy had a hard time trying to catch them, but soon, exhausted and out of breath, rounded them all up.
When he returned home he explained to his father what had happened. "But I rounded up all 12 of them!" he said proudly.
"Well, you done good, son!" said his father. "But I only ordered 8!"



You have good aim! Really Good AIM! SPLAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joke of the Week! "Under the Stars"

Happy Birthday to my mom!
Did anyone miss me? Nuts, didn't think so!

Two men went camping. As they were lying in their sleeping bags, one said to the other "What do you see up there?" pointing to the sky.
"Lots of stars!" the other replied.
"And what does that tell you."
"It tells me that it will be nice tomorrow!"
"Thats funny, it tells me that someone took our tent!"

HATS OFF!

Hats Off by Henry Holcomb Bennett

Hats Off!
Along the street there comes
A blare of bugles, a ruffle of drums,
A flash of color beneath the sky:
Hats off!
The colors before us fly....
But more than the flag is passing by....
Days of plenty and years of peace;
March of a strong land's swift increase;
Equal justice, right, and law,
Stately honor and reverend awe;
Sign of a nation, great and strong
To ward her people from foreign wrong:
Pride and glory and honor,-all
Live in the colors to stand or fall.
Hats off!
Along the street there comes
A blare of bugles, a ruffle of drums;
And loyal hearts are beating high:
Hats off!
THE FLAG IS PASSING BY!


Have a blessed Flag Day

Joke of the Week! "Wrong Number!"

Hello little peoples, welcome back! Never lick a spark plug. Trust me!

A girl went to a party, but was out later than she was supposed to be.
She tried to call home, but unknowingly called the wrong house.
An elderly woman answered the phone and she sounded like she had just woken up.
"I'm sorry mom, but I wont be home until later tonight." Said the girl.
"Mom? I am not your mom! I don't even have a daughter!" the woman yelled
"Wow, mom! I knew you would be mad, but I never thought you would disown me."

Joke of the Week! "Muscle Man"

I see the tomatoes in that bucket there! So, just drop em'!


A man walks into a doctor's office and says to the doctor "I am having trouble sleeping."
"Do you know why?" the doctor asked.
"Yep."
"Why?"
"My calf muscle is driving me crazy!"
"Well, did you pull it?"
"No! It just keeps going 'moo, moo, moo' all night long!"




Got to run cause here come the tomatoes!

A Walk Through the Cemetery

By Justin Mathews

One day as I walked through a cemetery,

On a gorgeous Memorial Day,
I looked and I saw rows and rows of flags along the way,
So many flags along the grave stones, enough to touch the sky,
And underneath these engraved stones,Is where our heroes lie.

I looked and saw a stone from Concord,the first battle of the Revolutionary War,

And after this both sides knew, Independence lay beyond this door.
I looked and saw a grave from the Battle of Bunker Hill,
And in that field the lives that were lost are in our memories still.

I saw a grave from Gettysburg where a great battle was fought,

Though I do not know the number of dead, I know it was quite a lot.
I saw a grave from a battle of World War I,
Where many men gave their lives, some were fathers, all were sons.

I saw a grave from Normandy Beach, the battle our heroes won,

The Americans stopped the advancing Germans the Invasion of France was done.
I saw a grave from Okinawa a battle that America won,
The raid on Japan now was over and now the war was done.

From Korea, and Vietnam, from the Gulf War to Iraq,

Brave soldiers fought, brave soldiers died, brave soldiers did come back.
I will always honor the men who fought to make me free,
And that is what Memorial Day means to me.

For all of those who gave their lives to defend our liberty,
I'll remember it is because of them that I am living free.
And as I think of all those brave, there are two things I'll say,
Thank God I'm an American boy, God has blessed the USA.