Joke of the Week! "The Big, Small Order"

Yipes! That tomato was a little too close!

A dad sent his son to pick up an order of live chickens at the train station.
On the way home he was very careful not to drop the crate full of squawking chickens. But as he got to his own street, the crate slipped out of his hands and smashed on the sidewalk.
Chickens went everywhere! Scurrying about, the boy had a hard time trying to catch them, but soon, exhausted and out of breath, rounded them all up.
When he returned home he explained to his father what had happened. "But I rounded up all 12 of them!" he said proudly.
"Well, you done good, son!" said his father. "But I only ordered 8!"



You have good aim! Really Good AIM! SPLAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joke of the Week! "Under the Stars"

Happy Birthday to my mom!
Did anyone miss me? Nuts, didn't think so!

Two men went camping. As they were lying in their sleeping bags, one said to the other "What do you see up there?" pointing to the sky.
"Lots of stars!" the other replied.
"And what does that tell you."
"It tells me that it will be nice tomorrow!"
"Thats funny, it tells me that someone took our tent!"

HATS OFF!

Hats Off by Henry Holcomb Bennett

Hats Off!
Along the street there comes
A blare of bugles, a ruffle of drums,
A flash of color beneath the sky:
Hats off!
The colors before us fly....
But more than the flag is passing by....
Days of plenty and years of peace;
March of a strong land's swift increase;
Equal justice, right, and law,
Stately honor and reverend awe;
Sign of a nation, great and strong
To ward her people from foreign wrong:
Pride and glory and honor,-all
Live in the colors to stand or fall.
Hats off!
Along the street there comes
A blare of bugles, a ruffle of drums;
And loyal hearts are beating high:
Hats off!
THE FLAG IS PASSING BY!


Have a blessed Flag Day

Joke of the Week! "Wrong Number!"

Hello little peoples, welcome back! Never lick a spark plug. Trust me!

A girl went to a party, but was out later than she was supposed to be.
She tried to call home, but unknowingly called the wrong house.
An elderly woman answered the phone and she sounded like she had just woken up.
"I'm sorry mom, but I wont be home until later tonight." Said the girl.
"Mom? I am not your mom! I don't even have a daughter!" the woman yelled
"Wow, mom! I knew you would be mad, but I never thought you would disown me."

Joke of the Week! "Muscle Man"

I see the tomatoes in that bucket there! So, just drop em'!


A man walks into a doctor's office and says to the doctor "I am having trouble sleeping."
"Do you know why?" the doctor asked.
"Yep."
"Why?"
"My calf muscle is driving me crazy!"
"Well, did you pull it?"
"No! It just keeps going 'moo, moo, moo' all night long!"




Got to run cause here come the tomatoes!

A Walk Through the Cemetery

By Justin Mathews

One day as I walked through a cemetery,

On a gorgeous Memorial Day,
I looked and I saw rows and rows of flags along the way,
So many flags along the grave stones, enough to touch the sky,
And underneath these engraved stones,Is where our heroes lie.

I looked and saw a stone from Concord,the first battle of the Revolutionary War,

And after this both sides knew, Independence lay beyond this door.
I looked and saw a grave from the Battle of Bunker Hill,
And in that field the lives that were lost are in our memories still.

I saw a grave from Gettysburg where a great battle was fought,

Though I do not know the number of dead, I know it was quite a lot.
I saw a grave from a battle of World War I,
Where many men gave their lives, some were fathers, all were sons.

I saw a grave from Normandy Beach, the battle our heroes won,

The Americans stopped the advancing Germans the Invasion of France was done.
I saw a grave from Okinawa a battle that America won,
The raid on Japan now was over and now the war was done.

From Korea, and Vietnam, from the Gulf War to Iraq,

Brave soldiers fought, brave soldiers died, brave soldiers did come back.
I will always honor the men who fought to make me free,
And that is what Memorial Day means to me.

For all of those who gave their lives to defend our liberty,
I'll remember it is because of them that I am living free.
And as I think of all those brave, there are two things I'll say,
Thank God I'm an American boy, God has blessed the USA.

Joke of the Week! "No One on the Line"

I am running out of things to say!
A young man started a business. To impress his customers, he bought a nice office with a nice chair and desk, and a nice computer, and always wore a nice suit to work. One day a man came in, so, to impress him, he picked up the phone, even though there was no one on the other end, and acted like he was having a very important conversation with a rich customer. When he hung up, he asked the man: "Can I help you?"
"Yes," the man replied. "I am here to hook up your phone line!"

Sorry!!!!!

The Bird Brain I put on yesterday was a big OOOOOPS! Please disregard post!

Joke of the Week! "Eat Dirt!"

AHGGGGGG! HERE HE COMES! RUN!

A vacuum cleaner salesman goes out to a little town in the country to try to sell a vacuum. (This takes place in the early 1900s) Anywho, the man saw an elderly lady sweeping her porch. So he got out of his car and went up to her. Then he pulled a packet of dirt out of his pocket, ripped it open and dumped it on the floor. Then he said: "If my vacuum can't suck that up, I'll eat it myself!"
The lady told him: "Better start chomping mister, because we don't have electricity out here!"

Bird Brain



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sphyrapicus_varius.jpg

 Well, I'm back. I hope you enjoyed last week's Bird Brain! Here is this weeks! The Yellow-bellied Sapsucker.
A few weeks ago, I spent the week at my grand- parents house. I was outside taking a walk around the yard when I heard a call that sounded like a "weep weep"
When I went over to where the sound was coming from, I saw a bird that looked like a downy woodpecker but was much to big to be a downy woodpecker. When I got inside  I looked it up in my bird book and found that it was a yellow-bellied sapsucker.
Here is the Bird ID from Stokes Feild Guide to Birds:
Black-and-white-streaked face; red patch on forehead; elongated white patch on shoulder of black wings; central belly yellowish.
MALE: Red chin.
FEMALE: White chin.
IN FLIGHT: Note white rump and white sholder patches
FALL JUV: Brownish overall, but with white wing patch like adult's. Gradually molts into adult plumage by spring.